Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

to see who is less offensive to the American people.

- Oh, OK. Good. - It's about Catherine.

No, no, no. Listen, your eyebrows did not move at all.

Your unfavorables are rising past "accidental ethnic slur"

They were exploited opportunities.

teenage runaway that you just strangled.

they can feel neglected and... And low self-esteem.

That can only mean one thing, ma'am.

she'd get, like, a thousand dollars

So do I, but if Andrew starts talking to the grand jury about,

do you understand this could cost me the presidency, Andrew?

I think I can see you nodding your head "yes"...

More than a dozen Iowa government officials are in hot water.

America is waiting for my leadership.

Mom, I can't believe that you ruined Marjorie's proposal

It's... I'm not...

Technically, it was you that stole the money from the fund,

That's just criminally insane... And regular insane.

They're dropping the investigation into the Meyer Fund.

Mayor Splett, are you saying

(chuckles) Sorry.

He wants me to resign as mayor, effective immediately.

What kind of affirmative action bullshit is that?

And it was pretty clear. You said, "Take care of it,"

I was an alcoholic,

- Come on. - Well, it, uh...

- I saw Andrew... - The prosecution rests.

I get some, don't I?

to ask three pre-approved questions, pre-written by me,

- I wanna say the South? - Uh... Well...

Yeah, until this Washington Post thing blows over,

I tried to tell you a hundred times, Jonie.

I actually feel the same way, too, as a dad, sometimes.

Call it the Washington Post... Like a non-asshole

about Catherine's freshman year roommate.

REPORTER: Poll watchers are reporting

Not a "blow him to kingdom-fucking-come" look!

SELINA: But now I have to run.

I should have really married that gay guy my mother liked.

Cool. Let's see...

- I had no choice. - Oh, that's what you said

(indistinct chatter)

- when I was all up in that... - ♪ Puss-ay-ay-yay ♪

(microwave beeps)

Absolutely not!

Mister Mayor, the lieutenant governor

- Seven? Wow. - Yeah, seven. Lucky sevens.

That's the best explanation of democracy I've ever heard.

Did you take the coconut out of my muesli

Well, no, actually, ma'am, there's a Rosa Sanchez in Tennessee