Ho, ho, ho.

Listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.

And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubbling crew.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Well the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.

Doesn't the old one work?

Yeah, it works all right, but let's face it.

Football just isn't football on a three-inch screen.

Especially those round ones.

There's my date.

Listen, maybe I could drop over a little later, huh?

Well, okay.

The television's in what they call the parlor.

Well, probably because she ain't got one.

She's Miss Drydale's new maid.

I'll take these back to the kitchen.

When there's vittles around, Jethro'll forget all about the girl.

Not this girl, Granny.

Well?

The kinfolk said,