Listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.

And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up to the ground come a bubbling crude.

Black gold.

You know very well I am.

And I should have known that you were the thief who's been stealing my lumber.

Now, now, hold on.

I found this board right there at the foot of the steps on my own property.

You're not only a thief, you're a liar.

Now, that ain't a nice thing to call your next-door neighbor, especially on such a pretty day.

It hasn't been a pretty day since you became my next-door neighbor.

You peasant!

I hope you're writing all this down.

Mr. Drysdale, you done reviled and persecuted me, but I forgive you 70 times 7.

And though you covet what's rightfully mine, I give it to you with a glad heart.

Because the kind deed turneth away wrath, and pride goeth before a fall.

that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.

Special just for you.

Well, would you look at that.

It's been a long time since I've seen one of these.

What is it?