Please. I've played in clubs for years.

I guess it was pleasure. It was a vacation. I'm sorry, I took a vacation! I don't know why.

You've got two minutes, Tom.

(host) Well, there are two I's.

flying to the golf vacation you took with the heads of the major oil corporations.

Tom, can't you do just two jokes of mine?

- (host) Yeah, there are two of them. - All right.

The two Delacroy executives were arrested and later convicted

(host) Yeah, two N's. That'll get you on the board with $1800.

(host) Yeah, there are two of them. Got almost $3,000 in that kitty.

They thought I was wild in the debate? Watch me in the next two weeks.

- It'd be a good time to find a letter or two. - (woman) M.

Very easy, writes upside down, zero gravity. After two cases of vodka, still writing.

I hope this doesn't sound silly, but the other two candidates are family men.

As always, each candidate will have up to two minutes to make a closing statement.

Tom, t-t-two guys broke into my hotel room. I don't know what to do.

- My cellphone died and some guy is after me. - I thought two guys were after you.

If you put enough chemicals in the water, you'll be fishing, going: I love catching two-headed bass.

But even in the face of tyranny there is comedy. Two old Jews were sent to kill Hitler.

of government of the people, by the people, for the people.