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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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or a college professor

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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My Adderall dealer goes to school with Buckley.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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goes on for another 5,000 square feet.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Thanks to the divorce,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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To complete the illusion,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Dear, you're just adding to the booing.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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♪ The snow begins to fall ♪

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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I don't want to hear the end of anything anyone has to say.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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the restaurant is actually able to pay me.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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I'm used to getting paid under the table.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Small-town boy moves to the big city

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Jacqueline needs me to get the duck over here,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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I could pretend to be dealing with the decorator

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Nope. Titus almost gave in to the haters today.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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Are you up to the part where you meet me?

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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to come out of the closet and become a star?

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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You're the belle of the ball.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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the Mondrian,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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so I've got to figure out where to get one.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E03 Kimmy Goes to a Play!

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or waiting for the wall hangings to get out of Syria.