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New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.2s

So it's my birthday.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.8s

A hundred percent. You're not my friend now. You're my enemy.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.4s

We're "bronemies." He's my "fremesis."

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.3s

The hero is my penis.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.2s

- Give me a kiss. - My enemy.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.1s

- Seen my sharkskin laptop sleeve? - Jar!

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.4s

Why don't you kiss my ass, then?

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.5s

But maybe you can kiss my butt

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.3s

Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.9s

I can feel my "it" factor going away.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.5s

I even dropped my voice half an octave...

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.2s

and she's the cutest of all my daughters.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

5s

It was my birthday. I was very drunk.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.1s

- Thank you for that. - Bro J, my man.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

1.9s

- No, no, because I thought... - Oh, my God.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.7s

Darn it. Has anyone seen my croquet cleats?

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

3.2s

Hey, Jess, have you seen my other timepiece?

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

5.5s

Apparently, my business isn't as important as Frankie Muniz's.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

2.2s

I lost all the weight, I changed my clothes.

New Girl (2011) - S01E10 The Story of the 50

3s

- Guys, has anyone seen my good pea coat? - Jar.