I made a mess. I've made a mess.

I see a Christmas tree...

I was once a healthy man.

- A little bit of a tan. - Thanks. I went to a tanning salon.

When I was 21, I went to a prostitute. I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

I guess it was pleasure. It was a vacation. I'm sorry, I took a vacation! I don't know why.

I sat there and went, Wait a minute. I'm a jester.

Hold on, I got a call. Hello.

I like a dirty environment, if you know what I mean.

I don't know. I don't know where I am. It's dark, there's a factory,

- I like it crispy. I like a nice crunchy skin. - I know, Menken. I know you do.

- Can I get a refund? - We will continue.

I got a chance to meet him. Dobbs.

Why else would I propose to a woman I never met before?

I, uh, I never really sat behind a desk before. I mean, the one on the show is just a prop. This... (whistles)

I once had a blind date that I left in the theater. I felt so bad, I married her.

- This is nuts. - When I was a kid, I was in the circus.

- Return to your podium. - It was a mockery a long time before I came.

At 17 years old, I beat up a guy.

- Let me give you a hand. - I got it.