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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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Making out with John Mayer is just part of living in New York.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

2.4s

of the word sensuali-Titus-travaganza!

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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The rest of this stuff, it's ugly.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

3.1s

who eventually aged out of the system.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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and the first 20 minutes of Interstellar.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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of what's good and right in the world,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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It's irrelevant now that Drew Carey's the host of the show.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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where the hallways had trays of free floor food.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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The Dutch bought Manhattan for $24 worth of beads.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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Luckily, the gatekeepers of New York society are all moms

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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with the pelvic floor of a 12-year-old boy.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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airbrush a hot chick on the back of my truck.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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but you remind me of Carlos Delgado from the Mets,

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015) - S02E02 Kimmy Goes on a Playdate!

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I don't know what the rich blonde lady version of a bunker punch is...