I'm a heck of a catch, coz, look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house...

Ok, I'll stop you there. I really don't need anything like that. I do all my own in-house training.

- He's sort of... - It's ten to ten.

- Pardon? - It's ten to ten.

- I can't speak... here he is. - Hiya.

- Nice jacket. - Whatever.

- Looks a bit like mine. - What make's yours?

- Armani. - Expensive.

- And yours? - Sergio Georgini.

New shoes as well. Quite a heel on them.

- We still on for ten? - Yup.

People see me and they see the suit, and they go "You're not fooling anyone." They know I'm rock and roll through and through.

You know that old thing "live fast, die young"? Not my way.

Live fast, sure. Live too bloody fast sometimes! But die young? Die old.

I'm not orthodox. I don't live by "the rules".

If there's one other person who's influenced me in that way of thinking -

someone who's a maverick, someone who does that to the system - it's Ian Botham.

Because, Beefy will happily say, "that's what I think of your selection policy.

"Yes, I've hit the odd copper. Yes I've enjoyed the old doobie.

"But will you piss off and leave me alone? I'm walking to John O'Groats for some spastics."