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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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NARRATOR: Some people are born into the wrong time and place.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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This was the American frontier in 1882.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A hard land for hard folk.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Food was scarce,

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disease was rampant,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and life was a daily struggle for survival.

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Hell, this was Miss America in 1880.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Holy shit.

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To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron.

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The men who were courageous and resilient

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were the men who prospered.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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But some men were just big, giant pussies.

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(PANTING)

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Well, well.

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Surprised you showed up, Stark.

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Yeah, well, you said you would kill my family

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and burn my house down if I didn't, so...

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Draw.

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(ALBERT STUTTERING)